| changes |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|08:51 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
new boyfriend, straight hair! happy!
gonna play D&D, gonna bake a cake! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2009|01:53 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
My dad is moving out today.
People are trying to erase the past.
Not having a good time today.
I know I was lied to, because that's all I'm worth. |
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| WOOO HOOOOOOOOO |
[May. 7th, 2009|06:52 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
COMPLETELY DONE WITH FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE. TAKE THAT.
totally might switch my major into something totally retarted, but whatever. it's my life and money is not what I want from it.
In different news, I have my camp job again and am going to set up my interviews with various shoe stores in tanger tomorrow :] (I might have two jobs yay!!!!!!)
My parents got here to Boston today and we went out to dinner at fire and ice which was delicious as usual, and I didn't have to pay for once (I paid for the tip, but that's nothing)... tomorrow I want to take them to get bubble tea, and other things, and have them eat in the dining hall, hahah. Then we're packing up my crap... Maybe I can take them to see Rocky Horror too, that's always fun times. I'm amd tired now cause my alarm clock was a bitch and din't go off making me late for my women's studies final... but women's studies can suck my dick anyway.
So yeah, one down 3 to go! Now for 4 months of mindless workin' and relaxation... while the rest of you highschool losers are taking ap tests ;p Yeah, college is pretty fucking sweet.
Also, I lost almost 10 pounds in the past 2 weeks. :]
now, I am off to enjoy my last 2 nights of sleeping in my warren towers comfy bed. next year rooming with kristie going to be soooooooo sweet. :DDDDDDDDD
also... so many guys want me (lol?) - but they so can't touch this.
peace out girl scout. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2009|10:21 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | morose | ] |
I have come to the conclusion that every male that lives in Boston is a complete creeper.
Also, it has now been two months without speaking and he has finally stopped trying to contact/talk to me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2009|10:11 am] |
| [ | Location |
| | dorm | ] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | ciara - like a boy | ] |
I haven't talked to Donald for a month, and I think that's working out for the better. I don't think we can be friends anytime soon. Or ever. It won't work. I'm getting a new life. I'm wiping everything.
As much as I try to deny it to myself, I'm still hurt, hurt, hurt. With a side of angry. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2009|02:20 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  silly | ] |
I can't believe myself, I missed Snape's birthday yesterday. So, Happy belated birthday, Snape. |
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| First entry in a whileeee |
[Jan. 1st, 2009|03:26 pm] |
| [ | Location |
| | room | ] |
| [ | Mood |
| | tired | ] |
My life has been a roller coaster the past two months, about. I can't seem to have a constant emotional state because I'm continually swinging from hopeful to vengeful to psychotically depressed to carefree (see: apathetic) or to ecstatically happy. This normally wouldn't be too bad except that the emotion rules my entire day and moment in whatever I'm doing, no matter what, and the emotion flips so quickly. Also, it's always the same reason that it flips, which I'm sure you all know, so.
I know that it needs to stop and that I need to and I'm supposed to not talk to him but it's harder than you think. I really do try not to, as much as you might not believe me with how much I'll talk about it, but I really do.
I want to say thank you to all of you and that I'm really sorry for you having to put up with me the past few months, especially Liebegott, who doesn't read this but whatever. I really needed it, all of it, even if it was tough love. I'm sorry for breaking the glass picture frame and running out of the room and then not cleaning up until after you stepped on it. I'm sorry for pacing and making you nervous. I'm sorry for hogging the room. I'm sorry for spontaneously breaking down and/or getting crazy happy to a scary extent. And I'm sorry for being unintentionally condescending about your relationship, I really am, and I guess I got what I deserved from that anyway.
Even though it's been almost two months I can't possibly say that I'm over it, or that I'm anywhere near over it, even, but I'm going to try my hardest not to make any of you suffer through my sob stories anymore.
My new goal is to not think that the only way I can be stable is to be with someone else. I always get so attached that I become completely dependent on someone else and their mood, their day, their life. I tie everything in my life to that person for grounding and I'm finding that it just doesn't work forever. I have to find a way to be happy without someone else. It's a hard habit to break because I think it's human nature to not want to be lonely. But is having friends lonely? I can't decide. When I'm with them to feel pretty good, but when you're not it feel lonely.
Is this all my fault? |
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| Positive |
[Nov. 21st, 2008|04:05 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Ace of Base - The Sign | ] |
It feels good to be free! |
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| Allie has to do this! and other people can if they want |
[Oct. 14th, 2008|08:00 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
i took this from allison.
Ask me a question about any or each of the following:
01. FRIENDS.
02. SEX.
03. MUSIC.
04. DRUGS.
05. LOVE.
06. LIVEJOURNAL.
No matter how rude, sexual, or confidential.
Then post this in your journal and see what questions you get asked.
comment screening enabled. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2008|04:13 pm] |
So... I don't really know how to begin this. It's 1:08 am right now. I can't fall asleep... I tried right after I watched the VP debate but it didn't really work. So I made some cup of noodles, stumbled around on the internet, and then read everyones fucking livejournal - and then I realized that I haven't written in it in like a bazillion years so here I am, not that anyone really cares about my boring life.
School... is I guess what I would expect it to be. It's not really that hard I'm sorry to say. I thought it would be more of a challenge... but how much of a challenge can a school that's pretty much paying about 85% of the cost it takes to go there for you be? I mean... I'm not even TRYING. I'm lazier than I was in high school, and I got a 90 on my midterm exam without lifting a finger to go even a little bit out of my way. I even missed the class before the exam. I didn't go. The only class that really is challenging is Chinese because it's just straight up memorization of stupid figures that make absolutely no logical sense. I've also come to find that most of the people that I've talked to on an actual deep level of some sort... BU wasn't their first choice, like myself. They're here because BU gave them the most money, and that was the decision maker for them. Also like myself. Most of the people here are stupid. Most of the people here have boatloads of money. Or at least boatloads more than I do. I notice how I only seem to connect with the ones who don't have any... the ones for whom BU wasn't their first choice.
Honestly I don't really like any of my floormates. Maybe a select few - but mostly all of them are tools in their own little way. On that note, everyone thinks they are original. Also, everyone seems to think leggings are pants and THEY ARE NOT. I have NO INTEREST in seeing your vagina/ass in your ugly black leggings paired with a large sweatshirt and uggs. I really thought we were over uggs by now but I guess we aren't.
Boston has the worst weather. I also have the best work study job in the world. I sit at a desk and google things and make phone calls to nice non-profit organizations. I also work for a professor who teaches classes in my major, so I am on the ins with the Sociology Dept.
Revisiting my social life: I think I made one friend that has the potential to be a good friend, and a couple of aquaintances who I talk to and have a good time with in my classes. I joined a couple clubs. I like a couple of them.
In happy news - Donnie is coming down to visit on Wednesday night and he is staying with me until Sunday afternoon! Yay! I get 4 nights which is a lot of time now... it's really sad that 4 days of being happy is considered a long time in my brain. I can't wait to see him!!! Wow. I like really need him to be here because I think I'm going absolutely crazy. Because... in conclusion, college is just like high school only they separate you from everyone you actually like so that you can "grow up." My ass. Everyone I think just upgraded themselves to new levels of idiocy.
Hope everyone else is having a grand old time at their college! I think I will, once I stop thinking about the reality of how we're all just fucked in the long run. |
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| this speaks to me. |
[Sep. 14th, 2008|03:54 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | regina spektor - ghost of corporate future | ] |
people make you nervous
you'd think the world was ending
and everybody's features have somehow started blending
and everything is plastic
and everyone's sarcastic
people are just people
people are just people
people are just people like you |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 2nd, 2008|11:55 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | regina spektor | ] |
So... on June 28th... I was officially done with high school. Crazy right? I got to wear a bad ass rainbow cord and the honor society stole... is that how you spell it? anyway... Yeah... it was hot and... I dunno. The speeches weren't moving. I didn't cry or feel emotional about high school. I didn't even stay around to take pictures with friends... I make it sound like it was a horrible experience... but it just really wasn't... or didn't feel that momentous to me at all. Other graduates (could you believe half of those people graduated?!?!?! idiots) and families were rude with their cheering for some people too loudly or blowing their foghorns over someone else's name so their graduating experience was ruined. What jerks. There was so many people and they read them off so fast that it's just like... you're not even special anymore. The standards are so low that all these people who I would say are half retarted can graduate and move onto 13th grade and/or a full time job at McDonalds. It was just like a laundry list of names, half of them I've never even heard of before.
And then afterwards.... my parents had been telling me all week that after graduation they would take me out for lunch and everything. So we get home and I mention it and my parents are like I'm really sorry but we just don't have the money to go out right now. My dad was outside drinking beer already at the time (it's like noon by the way...) so I was like "you know if we didn't have to spend so much money on beer and cigarettes every week you would probably be able to take me out for lunch like you promised on my fucking GRADUATION. you already got some beer today." I say this and my parents flip out on me like I'm some horrible person and get all mad that I said that and it was the most blasphemous thing ever. So I go back into m room with Donnie and chill out and then we go out on the living room for something I forget and my dad is walking back into the house with 2 six packs more of beer and I'm like... are you fucking kidding me? We don't have enough money yet you could go out and buy 3 six packs of beer today? Wonderful. That's all they care about. Drinking and smoking. The most important things to spend your money on.
Anyway... what I really wanted to post about was my college orientation which I just came back from yesterday!!!! Actually. I don't know if i feel like typing it out now. Hahaha. I'm soooo lazy. Whatever. We left early Wednesday morning and picked up Liebegott and family before heading off to Boston. We were really short on time like me and Liebegott could have been late for our program which was at 1. And I don't even feel like writing about this anymore... It was such a long time ago. Hahaha.
But my mom just came home from food shopping (FINALLY!) and told me that she quit her job. So... now neither of my parents have a job so I don't know what the fuck is going to go on with money. Great... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|09:44 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | silly | ] |
I just got back form my Boston trip to see BU and stuff for the open house. It was really really awesome. BU is so wonderful. It's in a big city, butt he city is nothing like NYC. It's pretty and smells nice and there's grass and trees and parks and BU is right on the Charles river. It is a port city. They have a huge study abroad program where over 40% of students study abroad during their time at BU as an undergraduate. They also have FENCING. I learned about the honors program and decided that I'm going to do the honors college. There's special housing that I can live in for it but I'm gonna do that my second year and live in the big freshman dorms my freshman year so I can meet a lot of people. The public transportation system is awesome and not confusing at all. Honors students also get to go on this vacation during like the 2nd weekend of the semester to a resort cabin thing that BU owns in new Hampshire and we do like high ropes courses and rock wall climbing and shit stuff like you'd do in project adventure only better. So I'm really excited for that. And I got a college sweatshirt woo hoo! Actually 2! Sorta cause I have to share the other one with my mom! So yeah. That was friday.
Earlier today we went to Salem MA to see cheesy witch museums and shit and walk around the little village town which was really cool and go in all the little shops that they have there. I took a picture with 2 people dressed up as witches on the street haha and held the broom! Yeah. And now my mom is really interested in Wicca and she wants to get a book on it from amazon. My mom is cool. We were gonna get one there but it's cheaper on amazon and there's more of a selection. So yeah. And Ms. Irish/Andreopolousbksej4bkjtb (?) was on the ferry that I took back to long island which was crazy weird.
So yeah I'm super excited about going to BU and it's going to be mad crazy awesome! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2008|04:34 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | miserable | ] |
Hunter just died today at around 3:30 pm. I'm really sad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 3rd, 2008|01:19 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | thankful | ] |
I have been accepted into Stonybrook! (Like everyone else in our grade!) But it's still exciting to get the first accept/rejection letter in the mail! |
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| obama |
[Jan. 26th, 2008|09:46 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
obama
obama
my knee is swollen
obama |
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| YAYYY |
[Jan. 9th, 2008|05:53 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  content | ] |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SNAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Rambling about random things |
[Dec. 27th, 2007|10:41 pm] |
| [ | Location |
| | MY BEDROOMMMMM | ] |
| [ | Mood |
| | weird | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | ben kweller - falling | ] |
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I feel really sad.
I lost my second to last friend today to the love monsterrrrrrrr hahahaahahaaaaaaa
And I made another mad at me because of my unwillingness to go bowling.
At 3 am this morning I got into a large argument on City of Villains with this 12 year old mexican jehovah's witness from Texas about gay people. I think you can imagine how it went. it ended up with me being de-friended and blocked. how sad.
Ironically, not 2 hours before this debate, he was asking me to be his "rp girlfriend" but I rejected him. had I accepted, it would have been a really shameful attempt at satisfying the love monster.
My computer is not good for CoV. It loads the game much to sssllloooowwwwwllllyyyyyyyyy. Takes to long to load a mission map and to exit a mission map. I should have stretched out the long and not the slowly, but whatever. It was poor planning on my part but when are my lj posts ever planned out and organized?
Sara came over yesterday which was cool. She was sick though, which sucks. I hope I don't get sick. Coincidentally, my mother is also sick.
I just read Caitlin's short story for gunder's creative writing class from hell and it almost made me cry. It was very good. I couldn't formulate any comprehensive and "thoughtful" comments to say about it though, so I guess I'll do my homework later.
I watched the last episode of Haruhi too. well, not the last chronologically but the last episode in the order that it was aired. (the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya VI). It is also sad. She has love monsters.
I feel like I'm losing all my marbles!!!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2007|05:46 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | angry | ] |
I HATE TILA TEQUILA |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2007|06:39 pm] |
| [ | Location |
| | room. | ] |
| [ | Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | beatles- help! | ] |
I went to a Church service today... I dunno if it's called a service? I dunno, but me and Sara and George went to one because it was for Thanksgiving and saint jude's invited the temple. So yeah, went to Church for the first time in my life. It wasn't that bad. Although our Canter totally showed up the church's choir. They seemed so horrible compared to us. Hahaha. We thought we might burn or something. One of the Preist-y guys, whatever the rank, had the SHINIEST BALD HEAD EVER. It was almost inhuman how shiny that guy's head was. It was amazing. I wish I had asked him how he got his head to be so damn shiny.
In other news, I'm so completely disgusted with almost every single candidate for the election. There is ONE, ONLY ONE, candidate in both parties that supports same sex marriage, not just that stupid civil union bullshit. And guess what, it's not even someone who has a shot at winning the fucking democratic primary. Hilary, Obama, and Edwards ALL OPPOSE SAME-SEX MARRIAGE, but they also oppose the amendment banning it, because they want to do their civil union crap. Are there really no more democrats or liberals or something? Just quit and go call yourself a conservative republican, really. Just go the fuck away. My support is for Mike Gravel. the rest of them are fuckin' republicans who don't like bush. Rudy Giuliani is more liberal than you. Just wanna support it half-assed for the politics. Sure, I can vote, but why would I wanna vote for any of these shitheads?
[EDIT: THE JETS JUST BEAT THE STEELERS!!!!!!!!] |
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raxellor's journal
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